" Such profound grief, that I caused. In 2010 I destroyed my life, my career, and my marriage by saying “no” to God and “yes” to an affair. Truth be told, I had been saying “yes” to sex addiction for over 20 years. But this time, the consequences of my choices and infidelity had finally caught up with me. I could no longer run. I was drowning in a sea of lies, and the waves of betrayal consumed my unsuspecting wife and devastated my church family and friends. But the church was brave; the leadership, wise and gracious, sent my wife and I to Pure Desire Ministries where our healing journey began. "
" It is my pleasure to share in the work of the Pure Desire Ministry Team the practical application and “First Steps” process of a Pure Desire Men's impact group in the local church. It is a blessing to share this plan that is specific to the Christian church whether large or small, city or country; denomination or affiliation not withstanding. It is my humble belief that choosing to begin this ministry in your church will have a significant impact not only on your home church but also the entire church community in your area. "
" I know my parents loved me. I am so grateful I had parents who wanted the best for me. But they often did not know how to nurture me in healthy ways.
My parents called themselves West Virginia hillbillies. They had migrated to Portland in 1953 when I was two. My father was an outgoing and social fellow who enjoyed being around people but hated conflict and confrontations. He did a good job of avoiding this by being a traveling salesman. He was gone three weeks out of four every month till I was seven years old. "
" (Mom) Sixteen years ago we learned that Rich had been sexually abused by a family member at the age of four. That explained his anger growing up and his increased involvement with pornography. In his teens he sexually abused a family member. This disclosure would change our lives drastically. Rich was great at hiding behind his stature (6’5”). He could put on a smile and say that everything was great, and people would believe him. He knew he was not being honest, but his life was spinning out of control. "
" I grew up in an abusive family. I remember my mom slapping me so hard that my ears would ring and my nose would bleed and then she would tell me to stop crying. She would say she hadn’t hit me that hard and I was just playing it up. Sometimes she would use a leather belt and line up my brothers and I up in a row. I always hated being last because I could hear the screams of my brothers before me and was able to count how many rage-given lashes they were given. The suspense was horrible. She would scream and throw things – one time she threw me down on the couch as hard as she could and then turned over all the furniture in the house. This kind of violence and punishment would happen all the time. "
" I was raised in a family that seemed normal at the time. I became a Christian when I was ten years old. Now I realize my family was quite dysfunctional, even though I was never physically abused or brow-beaten. My mother and father were married for 62 years but, since my father was a passive man who never showed much emotion, he was never able to meet my mother’s emotional needs. Even though they became Christians, he never took spiritual leadership but, instead, forced that role on my mother. She had grown up in a home where her father was emotionally abusive and unloving to her mother, so, by her acceptance of my father’s behavior, the problem was perpetuated. "
" At the age of fourteen I was molested by a priest at the church where I was an altar boy. Shortly after this I started masturbating which only reinforced the feeling that there was something wrong with me. At sixteen I had my first sexual experience with a girl. This was something that made me feel good and something I needed more of so I had to find a way to continue to get that high. Around eighteen I started using prostitutes - I had to have sex and got it as often as my money or time would allow. "
" I want to take this opportunity to thank God, you Pastor Ted, Pure Desire and East Hill Foursquare Church for truly being God’s hands extended to a hurting world! Through this ministry I was able to realize that God truly had forgiven me and had already begun the process of renewing my mind. He knew I would need the five months of Pure Desire and For Men Only that I participated in to prepare me for this time that I’m sentenced to in prison. I’ve been here almost two weeks and I have a peace with God that is hard to explain. God is good! "
" After attending an FMO orientation, I was able to talk to the leader, Harry, and for the first time ever, was able to share my pain and let the tears flow. I confessed I was using sex to medicate myself from the hurt caused by my wife’s affairs. Once I talked to Harry, I had the courage to go home and talk to my wife about everything. During that talk, she told me of her current affair, which I had suspected was going on. "