Recovery 4 minutes to read

Five years from now nobody is going to remember the US Open – who won, who lost, but they’re going to remember your 12, Roy. It’s…it’s immortal!

Molly Griswold, Tin Cup

There is much to be learned by this quote. 

In the film, Tin Cup, Roy McAvoy didn’t care about anything accept making it over the water and on to the green. A tough golf shot. Yet he gave up everything for the one shot for which he would be remembered. As great as it was, that one shot, cost him the one thing he was playing for. 

Sound familiar?

When we set our sites on something, many of us go all in, regardless of the outcome, good or bad. We all have our “Roy” moments in life. We are never satisfied with failing, and out of our own stubbornness we refuse to listen to those who can help. 

In this case, it was Roy’s caddy: the one person who could have helped Roy, was unable to to reach him. Roy became so consumed with trying to make an incredible shot, he lost focus.

Let me ask you a question: is there a person in your life who you would call your caddy? Have you given this person the authority to speak into your life and help steer you in the right direction when you decided to go off course? 

If you don’t have a person like this in your life, I would highly encourage you to find one. It may be one of the men or women in your group, or someone at church. When you’re unable to, this is a person who will carry your clubs. 

Now it sounds like I’m still talking about Golf, but I’m talking about life. Your caddy—accountability partner, coach, mentor—whoever they may be, will play an important part in your life if you let them.

How many times have we tried to do life on our own? 

Let’s just call this “white knuckling.” 

Yeah, I know: so many times, I have said I can do this—I can stop anytime. Yet, the power of what I’m doing sucks me right back in. This happens because we can’t do it on our own. We need others around us who can show us the way when we are blinded by a perfect shot—the next best thing—that may never pan out.  

Roy made an unbelievable shot—one that would always be remembered. Yet we don’t hear much of the story about what he lost. In that one moment, it was about what he had just accomplished: the instant gratification that so many of us seek without any regard for the consequences. For so many of us, the consequences are great. 

It can literally cost us everything.

Yet, in the midst of our brokenness, God can restore us and make things new again. We have to learn from our mistakes and walk through the healing path, much like walking through our men’s and women’s groups. There are so many things we can do, but when we have the tools and accountability that Pure Desire offers, we tend to start the process, headed in the right direction. 

After 20 years in groups, I don’t know how anyone can function without true accountability: a coach, mentor, or friend, who can carry us when we are not making the right decisions.  

We all want to be remembered for making an incredible shot in life, like Roy’s 12 on the final hole. What if we could make the shot, all the while listening to those around us: the ones who we have given authority to speak into our lives? It is easier said than done.  

Imagine walking through life and knowing that the incredible shot you are about to make is a result of all the hard work you have put in during your group; not looking at what you gave up to make it to this time and place, but recognizing that this shot is the one you will be remembered for in a positive way.

We all have junk. We all have a suitcase full of garbage that we have been dragging for so long. My question is this: when are you going to let go, and let others around you support and coach you? When are you going to trust God enough to let go of the past? When are you going to let God set you up for an incredible shot in life?

It’s all about trust. I am just like you: when am I going to trust God enough? 

We all struggle, but we don’t have to struggle alone!

Dr. Ted and Diane Roberts started Pure Desire many years ago, for men and women just like us: broken, wounded, and untrusting of others. Pure Desire is the caddy we all need in our life. It creates a community of people that are always there for one another. We just need to reach out and take hold of it. Do you want to be remembered for overcoming your past and making a shot that will shine a bright light on you, like Roy did?  

Well, if you you are struggling and need help, Pure Desire is here for you. If you are reading this and are not sure where to start, contact us. Let us pick up your clubs and lead you in a direction toward freedom. This is the one shot you will not want to pass up. Living a life of freedom can be yours regardless of your previous 11 bad shots!

So, tee it high and let fly!  

The views, opinions, and ideas expressed in this blog are those of the author alone and do not reflect an official position of Pure Desire Ministries, except where expressly stated.

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Rich Moore

Rich is the Associate Director of Men's Groups for Pure Desire and is a certified Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP) through the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP). He has been involved with Pure Desire for over 20 years and is a foundational piece to helping churches start a Pure Desire group ministry. Rich is also the author of The Silent Battle: One Man's Fight for Freedom.

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