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Unraveled set me free from chains that I didn’t know there could be freedom from. I am a completely different person and a completely different friend after going through this program. I am so grateful


One year ago, Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships was released. 

Unraveled was created to help women understand why we do what we do, especially when it comes to relationship issues. While the initial focus was on those of us who struggle with unwanted sexual behaviors and unhealthy relationship patterns, it’s really so much more. 

When we’re in the midst of one unhealthy decision piled on a lifetime of others, we can’t see our behaviors for what they really are—ways we’re trying to get our legitimate needs met through unhealthy behaviors. Thankfully, there’s a better way.

This journey through Unraveled has been challenging, impactful, and transformational. I strongly advocate this material for women who desire to exchange depleting connections with authentic and fulfilling relationships. The tools I received have helped me to be a better employee in the behavioral health industry and a stronger leader within my home and community. As I ‘unravel’ my past and pain, I am grateful to reclaim a perspective of grace; with a clear lens, I can see myself and my story as His masterpiece.


With the intent of helping women move toward overall, holistic health, it was important to include specific elements in Unraveled. First, we need others: we need to know we’re not alone in this struggle. Then, we need to dig into our past pain, shame, and trauma: not so much fun but a huge step in the healing process. Next, we need to learn how to identify and express our thoughts, feelings, and needs through healthy communication: this is crucial if we want to experience health in all our relationships. 

Additionally, we need to understand where our negative core beliefs come from so we can rewrite our internal narrative: our sexuality and identity are God’s design and a beautiful reflection of His love for us. Furthermore, we need consistent self-care: as women, we are typically so busy caring for others, we neglect caring for ourselves. 

This is just a snapshot of what’s included in the Unraveled Workbook and Weekly Tools. There are so many beneficial exercises and practical tools to help us create a pathway toward healthy living, personally and in relationships. 

Unraveled has provided the support I needed to make changes in my life. The support I was desperate for but didn’t know where to find it. This group has provided the groundwork for me to speak up for myself, care for my family in a healthier way, and it’s equipping me to look into the future and see how God wants to use this material in the lives of women around me. I am so grateful I stepped into this journey with these women. Their support has been so life-giving to me. 


Since the release of Unraveled, women have begun their journey toward health and healing. They have explored their family of origin, past pain and trauma, and life circumstances to discover how these elements have shaped the way they behave in relationships. 

Through their Unraveled group experience, these daring women:

  • learned how to rewrite the script, that fuels their negative core beliefs, with God’s truth. 
  • redefined their identity in Christ.  
  • realized the value of taking better care of themselves—physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. 

In a safe, grace-filled community, these women have discovered how to engage in a healthy relationship with God and others. 

After finding hope, growth, and healing through Betrayal & Beyond related to my husband’s porn addiction, I realized that I had slipped into unhealthy patterns of fantasy, flirting, and masturbation as a way of soothing the pain from the betrayal. Upon joining Unraveled, and examining my own unhealthy sexual behaviors, I became aware of how faking with my husband was stifling my ability to have deep intimacy and fulfillment in the marriage bed. Facing this embarrassing betrayal of my own with my husband was painful for us both, but he was (and is) eager to work with me on finding my hot spots, while I worked on being more forthright to give and receive pleasure. This has brought our relationship to new depths in the marriage bed and beyond! Being able to laugh and cry with other women about our sexual embarrassments, and finding resources and renewing exercises to replace the unwanted behaviors—with steps toward deeper intimacy and personal growth—has proven my Unraveled experience and investments of time, money, and facing hard realities, worth every drop.


It is amazing to see how God is changing the lives of women, and their relationships, through Unraveled

Now is a great time to join a Pure Desire Unraveled group. These groups meet online and are led by vetted, trained leaders—women who have been where you are and who are now living a life of hope and freedom.

Every woman who has ever been (or ever plans to be) in a relationship, whether romantic, family, or friend, should go through Unraveled. She will fill her toolbox with awareness, self-care, and God-esteem in a community of other women who share this common ground. Her past, present, and future self will be discovered, as she is seen through God’s eyes


Perhaps you want to start your own Unraveled online group with close friends or family. This is a perfect way to stay connected during this time of social distancing. Pure Desire can help with this process, as you get your group up and running. 

The best part of an Unraveled group is knowing we’ll walk this path together. We’ll discover the truth of God’s love and allow Him to transform our story through the power of His grace. 

Heather Kolb

Heather is the Content Manager and neuroscience professional for Pure Desire. She has a Bachelor’s in Psychology, a Master’s in Criminal Behavior, and is a certified Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP) through the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP). Heather has been trained in the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM) through The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS). She worked several years as a college professor prior to joining Pure Desire. She is an integral part of our speaking team and co-authored Digital Natives: Raising an Online Generation and Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships.

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