My PD Group Experience

by Anna Philipsen August 23, 2018


I wasn’t looking for a group.

I didn’t even know what a group was.

I wasn’t currently struggling with love or sex addiction.

I was happily married for eight years and had three adorable little boys.

I didn’t need a group. Or, did I?


Well, long story short, I did need a group. I needed to be able to say out loud, “I’ve struggled with love and sex addiction” and not feel like I was the only woman in the world who has. I needed to admit to myself that even though it is in my past, I have to deal it so it doesn’t impact the present.

FEELINGS

I honestly didn’t know what to expect in group. Right off the bat it was a lot of feelings stuff. I’ve never been a feelings person. Now after going through group, I can never say that again. Whether we like it or not, we all have feelings. If you are like me, you may not have known what those feelings were, but you had them hiding somewhere. Within the first few weeks of group, I began learning how to identify my feelings and process them. This was HUGE and I immediately began to notice a difference in my life.

PAIN

Although I wasn’t currently dealing with a love and sex addiction, it was something I struggled with when I was younger. I hadn’t thought about it in years and honestly believed it was all behind me. What I didn’t realize was that my addictive behaviors were showing up in other ways. Instead of hiding from my pain with a love and sex addiction, I was running from it by eating too much, excessive spending, staying busy, and being controlling. I was still medicating my pain rather than dealing with it. Being in group helped me to see that my behaviors were not healthy and I did not know how to deal with pain. Group taught me to be strong enough to face the pain and stop running from it.

TRAUMA

The first time I told my story in group was hard. I didn’t have a crazy trauma story and honestly would not have called my life traumatic. What I learned about trauma was interesting. Some people have one or two huge traumas in their life; anyone who hears their story would be shocked and right away call it trauma. Other people may have a lot of little things happen over and over, and throughout time, those turn into trauma.

Most people who have that kind of trauma say things like, “I don’t have any trauma. I grew up in an amazing Christian home and I have a great relationship with my parents.” That was me. There were a lot of little things that didn’t seem so traumatic, but as I worked through my past, I was able to identify the impact they had on me. Group taught me to not discount anything because every little thing that happens in our life matters and it all leads to where we are today.

COMMUNITY

Hearing other people’s stories in group was powerful. We shared a common experience—an addiction. Nobody wants to talk about addiction, but we could open up with one another and know that our stories were safe. Meeting every week for two hours, doing homework during the week, and making phone calls to ladies in the group was such a big commitment. But that’s what it takes. Change doesn’t happen overnight.

Through community with women in my group, I was able to talk through and process things I had never before talked about. My commitment to group and the community that surrounded me created the group experience I needed to find healing.


Going through a Pure Desire group was extremely transformative. I didn’t know what to expect and was surprised how much it impacted me. My experience in group was so profound that now, I encourage everyone to get in a group. Sure, it isn’t an easy thing and is a huge time commitment, but the end result makes it all worth it.

5 THINGS I LEARNED BEING IN A PURE DESIRE GROUP

1. I AM NOT ALONE

2. I CAN IDENTIFY MY FEELINGS AND PROCESS THEM

3. I NEED TO FACE THE PAIN OF MY PAST TO BE HEALTHY IN THE PRESENT

4. I CAN LOOK BACK AT EXPERIENCES IN MY LIFE AND START CONNECTING HOW THEY CHANGED ME

5. I CAN DO ANYTHING IF I STAY COMMITTED AND HAVE A COMMUNITY TO SUPPORT ME.

I finished group and it completely changed my life.

I am more self-aware.

I am a better mom.

I am a better wife.

I am a stronger person.

I know how I feel.

I have boundaries.

I can say no.

I am healthier.

I wasn’t looking for a group. But, I needed it and it found me.


         

Anna Philipsen

Anna is the Events Manager for Pure Desire Ministries. Her background is in event planning and social media. Anna also is an online group leader for Pure Desire Women's Groups.






Leave a comment


Also in PD

How We Finally Won the Battle Against Pornography
How We Finally Won the Battle Against Pornography

by Michelle Stumbo September 13, 2018

In front of the entire student body, a friend confessed his addiction and shared that Jesus had "set him free." I was engaged at the time and thought how glad I was that my future husband didn't struggle with porn.

Read More

Find Your Caddy
Find Your Caddy

by Rich Moore September 06, 2018

Let me ask you a question: is there a person in your life who you would call your caddy? Have you given this person the authority to speak into your life and help steer you in the right direction when you decided to go off course?

Read More

Honestly Speaking
Honestly Speaking

by Nick Stumbo August 30, 2018

While both honesty and full-disclosure can be a very difficult process, they are well worth it. Not only do we expose our secrets and learn to be a truth-teller, we also find new levels of intimacy and growth in our relationship.

Read More