Emotional HealthHealingRecovery 6 minutes to read

I love this time of year! The sun is shining. Each day delivers more hours of daylight. The bright yellow daffodils and deep purple hyacinth are sure signs of springtime. And while some trees and plants have been dormant for several months—alive but not actively growing—they awake from their slumber and show off their vibrant green leaves.  

For me, this seems like the perfect season to evaluate where I’m at in life, where I’ve experienced significant growth, and what areas are lacking or seem a bit dormant. 

As I continue to grow in health and spirituality, I need to continually invest in these three areas because they are significant to my healing journey.

Growth Comes from Pruning

I never really understood why plants needed to be pruned, unless they were outgrowing their space. But I’ve learned that it’s actually really important to prune some plants because pruning encourages good growth. And by pruning away disease and other types of decay, it not only stops it from spreading to the healthier branches, but redirects the plant’s nutrients to essential areas.  

I can relate to this. There have been seasons in my life when God has allowed me to face some significant challenges. While I didn’t see it so clearly at the time, in many ways, this was His way of pruning me—pruning away the diseased, damaged, and unhealthy parts of me—so I could continue to change and experience growth that was healthier for me and reflected God’s work in my life.

It seems like my time in group has also facilitated a type of pruning, where I’m getting rid of old negative behaviors to make room for new behaviors that will encourage and support health and personal growth. Whether I’m working on self-talk, boundaries, or personal promises, all of these areas are buds of new growth, where I can redirect energy toward establishing these new practices in my daily routines. 

Growth is Inspired by Community

What do you know about cross-pollination? In very basic terms, it’s when pollen from one plant fertilizes another plant.

I’ve learned that many fruit trees need to be planted near other fruit trees—the same species or different—in order to produce fruit, since they are unable to self-pollinate. Some fruit trees may produce flowers, but without cross-pollination, they will not bear fruit.

Cross-pollination also helps some trees and plants adapt and survive a new environment, keeps harmful genetic code repressed, and brings about variations in species.

In the same way many plants and trees are dependent on the pollination from other plants and trees, so are we, as humans, dependent on those around us. 

Many of us have close friends we walk through life with, who are there for us through thick and thin. When something unexpected happens, we can reach out to this community for support, strength, and encouragement. When we have something to celebrate, these are the people who celebrate with us. 

Community is so important for our ability to grow and mature. When we surround ourselves with people who are like us, who have similar beliefs and values, their life experiences and knowledge seem to rub off on us and inspire us to be better. 

I know there are times in life when it might be tempting to go it alone. To think we don’t need others. But remember, we were designed for relationships (and so were fruit trees). Through these relationships we have the opportunity to learn more about God, ourselves, and others.

Growth Develops Mindset

I’ve known Jesus almost my entire life. I have a vivid memory of myself, 5 years old, in my Sunday school class, praying to ask Jesus into my heart. Even as a little girl, I knew Jesus loved me and died for my sins. I grew up in a Christian family where attending church, memorizing scripture, and practicing the Fruit of the Spirit was not only part of our weekly routine, but seemed to be part of our DNA. 

As a teenager, I was actively involved in youth group, Bible studies, and attended summer church camp every year. Throughout my adult life I’ve regularly attended church, women’s Bible studies, and have been consistently active in my faith community. 

While I feel very established in my faith, I have to admit, I was a bit taken aback by a recent conversation. I was talking to a counselor friend who was telling me about a client she’s been working with (no specific details) and how she was trying to encourage this client. At one point, she said she looked at her client and said, “…and then, you start living like Jesus died for your sins.”

Start living like Jesus died for your sins. 

I couldn’t stop thinking about this comment. It seemed to permeate my brain and consciousness. It was there all the time, from the minute I woke up to the moment I fell asleep at night. What was it about this comment that sounded like new information—like something I’d never heard before? 

As I continued to think about this, it became more personal. I asked myself, Today, what would it look like to live like Jesus died for my sins? Which felt kind of funny at first, because I’ve known Jesus almost my entire life. But I’m pretty sure I haven’t lived everyday like Jesus died for my sins. 

It was obvious that God wanted to get my attention and was using this comment to stir up a new opportunity for growth in my life. And since I’m all about practical application, here’s what I’ve been doing so far. 

Every morning I ask myself, What does ‘living like Jesus died for my sins’ look like today? Most of the time, my brain quickly recalls several scriptures and messages I’ve learned that create a deep sense of gratitude and thankfulness for my relationship with the Lord. This has made a huge difference in my mindset for the day. Even when faced with challenging situations with family or work, my mind quickly jumps to …live like Jesus died for your sins, which immediately softens my heart toward what’s happening around me. It’s been a remarkable experience. 

This has also impacted my thought life. When I find myself taking up brain space with critical thoughts about other people or my own negative self-talk, again, my brain quickly jumps to, …live like Jesus died for your sins. In the moment, this allows me to choose something different—to choose to take my thoughts captive and replace them with calming and encouraging thoughts, as well as being more empathetic and seeing the best in others. 

It’s only been a couple months and I can feel the difference. My mind and heart are filled with a refreshing peace and contentment. 


I know God wants a relationship with me, but not one that sits dormant for extended periods of time. I’m thankful for these seasons when He presents me with another opportunity to change and grow, even if it’s challenging and involves some pruning. I have a safe community that offers support and encouragement, so I don’t have to do this alone. And He continues to help me develop a mindset that is sensitive to His Spirit.  

If you’ve been feeling a bit dormant, I hope this spring season gives you an opportunity to change and grow in new and exciting ways!


The views, opinions, and ideas expressed in this blog are those of the author alone and do not reflect an official position of Pure Desire Ministries, except where expressly stated.

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Heather Kolb

Heather is the Content Manager and neuroscience professional for Pure Desire. She has a Bachelor’s in Psychology, a Master’s in Criminal Behavior, and is a certified Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP) through the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP). Heather has been trained in the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM) through The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS). She worked several years as a college professor prior to joining Pure Desire. She is an integral part of our speaking team and co-authored Digital Natives: Raising an Online Generation and Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships.

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