ASSIGNMENT

This list provides some common reasons that women engage in toxic relationships
and risky sexual behaviors.7 Circle any reasons that relate to your experiences.

Can you identify a point in your life where you developed similar feelings that led to a toxic relationship?

Did your need to be involved in a toxic relationship increase or decrease over time?

Self-sufficient mask

If I keep this mask, I will live a lonely life, not needing others

If I remove the mask, I will have to face the fear that others will disappoint me and let me down.

What is encouraging about the way God used the unlikely women in Jesus’ lineage?

Despite your past, how do you think God will use you to fulfill His plan? Explain.

As you imagine life without masks, what makes you excited about this process?

What fears will you have to face?

Step 1: Identify your relapse—the actions you’re committing to refrain from. This list should be re-evaluated at least every six months.
Examples: pornography use, masturbation, fantasy, manipulating relationships, alcohol use, obsessive social media use, Facebook stalking.

Step 2: Determine who you will need to share your relapse with and in what time frame.
This typically includes a group member, a mentor or friend, and your spouse, if they are engaged in the recovery process. Share within 24 hours of the relapse. Knowing ahead of time that you committed to being honest about a relapse within a short time frame will help you combat one of the most common lies that lead to relapse: “No one needs to know.”
Example: I will share my relapse with Sara and Angie from group for help and support. I will then share my relapse with my spouse/significant other…

Step 3: Write out all the natural consequences of your relapse. If you are married and your spouse is engaged in recovery with you, share these with your spouse—note if they have any additional natural consequences you have not considered.
Examples: broken trust, hurting family and friends, job loss…

Step 4: Write out all the logical consequences you are choosing to follow if you relapse. Include a list of action steps you can take to rebuild and maintain trust. If married, your spouse can share the behaviors that will help to rebuild their trust.
Examples: I won’t use my computer in my room alone; I won’t use social media when home alone; I will sleep in a separate room from my spouse…

Step 5: Create an Escape Plan by visiting the Pure Desire Tools page at puredesire.org/ tools and add additional alarms you recognize that lead to relapse. Add any necessary steps to handle the downward spiral differently next time. 
Examples: have an accountability friend with me during girls’ night out; don’t have any male Facebook friends that are not friends with my husband; when feeling bored at  home, instead of using social media, I’ll…

Step 6: Describe your desired outcome for creating this plan. If you have a clear vision of how this plan will help your recovery, you are more likely to follow it.
Examples: I want to have lasting relationships with family and friends; I want to stop feeling like I need attention from every guy in the room; I want to stop thinking that sex equals love…