P*rnography: the Catalyst for Today’s Identity Crisis

There is an unspoken rule in many homes and churches that sex is not to be talked about unless the conversation serves to put the fear of God in children about their participation in sex before marriage. Talking about sex solely in the context of prohibition, however, sets a child up for madness. A child needs to hear sex talked about in a way that honors the natural, God-given changes and desires that will accompany them from childhood to adulthood.

In today’s digital age, the consumption of pornography has become increasingly prevalent, casting a dark shadow over the lives of countless individuals, particularly men and an increasing number of women as well. While the harmful effects of pornography have been widely debated, it is crucial to recognize its detrimental impact on men’s lives. Men are lacking deep friendships, struggling with a rise in mental health problems, less involved in churches, and progressively less likely to share their faith which all can be traced to a major contributor: the continued rise in pornography use. 

In his ebook, 4 Porn Triggers & Your Path to Freedom, Jay Stringer asserts that men who lack a clear sense of purpose are more likely to escalate their pornography use, leading to personal disappointment and professional futility. I plan to dive deeper into the correlation between pornography use and men’s ability to live lives of purpose and effectively share the gospel message—which from a Christian perspective is the fruit of evidence that one is living in the identity that they were created to embody. 

The data from Stringer’s research suggests a clear correlation between purposelessness and seeking out pornography:

Men were seven times more likely to escalate their pornography use when they did not have a clear sense of purpose.

When individuals lack direction or meaning in their lives, they often turn to pornography as a means of escape. However, this only amplifies their feelings of disillusionment, leading to a painful and sometimes dangerous cycles of addiction and dissatisfaction.

Identity Crisis

If I don’t know who I am, there is little to no chance I will know what to do. 

In today’s society, pornography has become a significant factor contributing to an identity crisis among individuals. Pornography distorts a person’s true identity, leading them to seek fulfillment and validation in unhealthy and destructive ways. As Christians, it is important to remember that our true identity is found in God, who created us in His image and calls us to live lives of purity and holiness. Engaging in pornography not only distorts our perception of self but also hinders our ability to fully embrace the identity that God has designed for us.

Friendship Crisis

In a broken world so many people pretend to be okay while they simply are not. They look connected because of social media but live a dissatisfied and disconnected life with their only sense of connection happening digitally. The ability to have deep friendships while pretending you are someone you are not, pretending to be okay, and struggling leaves so many desperate for connection—there is a lack of depth in connection with anyone; at times even with themselves. 

Pornography has been specifically linked to a lack of deep and meaningful friendships among men. Pornography promotes isolation and secrecy, making it difficult for individuals to form authentic connections with others. As Christians, we are called to live in community with one another, supporting and uplifting each other in our faith journeys. Pornography not only damages relationships with others but also hinders our ability to experience the depth of fellowship and brotherhood that God intended for us. We all need people we can go deep with, share our hurts, bear our burdens, and celebrate our victories.

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves.

‭‭Galatians‬ ‭6‬:‭2‬-‭3‬ ‭(NIV)‬‬

Purposelessness Crisis

Pornography use often stems from a sense of purposelessness and dissatisfaction in life. When individuals lack a clear sense of purpose, they may turn to pornography as a means of temporary fulfillment. However, this only leads to further disillusionment and emptiness, robbing individuals of the joy and satisfaction that comes from living a purpose-driven life. 

One of the best selling Christian books of all time, The Purpose Driven Life, written by Rick Warren, is a powerful read; it really taps into the desire God has for each of us. The desire is for each of us to know God and to live a life of purpose and meaning for the glory of God. A quote from the book really articulates this well:

Without a clear purpose you have no foundation on which you base decisions, allocate your time, and use your resources. You will tend to make choices based on circumstances, pressures, and your mood at that moment. People who don’t know their purpose try to do too much — and that causes stress, fatigue, and conflict.

Rick Warren

As Christians, we are called to seek God’s will for our lives and find fulfillment in serving Him and others, rather than seeking temporary gratification in destructive behaviors like pornography. Pornography robs us from feeling joy, connectivity, satisfaction, and love. Our purpose is tied to being known. It may have been trauma or a painful experience that led to a relationship with porn but God wants us to experience true intimacy and the feeling of a purpose filled life free from this counterfeit form of intimacy.

Discipleship Crisis

The prevalence of pornography consumption has been linked to a decline in men’s engagement in the church and their willingness to share their faith with others. Pornography creates a barrier between individuals and God, hindering their ability to fully participate in the body of Christ. While Romans 8:1 proclaims there is no condemnation for those in Christ, it is the very shame that Satan uses to keep us isolated, disconnected, and paralyzed in witnessing to others. 

As followers of Christ, part of our identity is sharing our faith. If you are a new believer or have been following Christ most of your life we need this reminder that Paul penned to the Corinthians:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭5‬:‭17‬-‭21‬ ‭(NIV)

Jesus Christ died on the cross to set you free from sin and give you access to abundant life in Him. He loves you and desires to accomplish so much through your life! Pornography is Satan’s tool to shame and detour you from the joy of living in the purpose for which you were created. Through Christ, there is a joy available to you that is better than any fictional depiction of intimacy. 

It is important that we understand the negative impacts of pornography. Downloading apps, creating curriculum, and creating safe places for confession and repentance is quintessential but it is not work that will set this generation free. It is the Gospel and the love of God, and His people, that the world needs most.

Joshua Broome is a featured speaker at this year’s Pure Desire Summit. Join us September 20-21 to hear Joshua and other experts in the field of sexual health, betrayal trauma, and healing. Register now!

The views, opinions, and ideas expressed in this blog are those of the author alone and do not reflect an official position of Pure Desire Ministries, except where expressly stated.