Dealing With Rage as a Betrayal Trauma Response

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• I’m walking through betrayal after discovering my boyfriend’s porn use and past behaviors, and what’s been most overwhelming isn’t just the pain, it’s the rage. At times, I feel completely overtaken by anger, even acting in ways that scare me and leave me feeling ashamed. It feels deeper than anger, like a full-body trauma response. Is this kind of rage normal in betrayal trauma, and what’s actually happening inside me?

• As I navigate betrayal trauma, one of the hardest parts is how my partner responds. When I express pain or anger, he dismisses it or calls me “crazy,” which only intensifies everything I’m feeling. It makes me feel unseen and alone in the trauma. How can partners better understand and respond to betrayal trauma, especially intense emotions like rage, in a way that brings safety instead of more harm?

• I’ve been learning that betrayal trauma affects the brain and body in real ways, but it doesn’t seem like this is widely understood, especially by those who caused the hurt. It feels like there’s a gap in recovery when it comes to helping men understand their partner’s trauma responses. How can we better educate betrayers on what’s happening neurologically and emotionally so they can respond with empathy and support healing?
  If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at <u>unfiltered@puredesire.org</u>. We can’t wait to hear from you!