Dying Marriage, Secondary Betrayal, and Triggers

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• I resonated with your thoughts on marriage stagnation from episode #95. My husband stopped relapsing but isn’t actively pursuing healing, and I feel stuck, discouraged, and worn down. After years of little growth, I’m unsure what I believe about biblical grounds for divorce. In this kind of gray space, where change feels stalled, would divorce be biblically justified?

• When my church, once a safe home, responded to my betrayal trauma by focusing on my reactions instead of my spouse’s accountability, it felt like a second betrayal. I’m struggling to know what’s healthy moving forward. When is it time to leave, and how do I grieve losing my spiritual community while still healing from betrayal?

• Can you talk about wet dreams? My husband and I are currently sexually abstinent with each other in our marriage. He reported a wet dream to me and it was triggering. To be honest, I know wet dreams are normal but part of me wonders if he’s acting out as a part of it. I don’t like how this situation makes me feel but I also don’t know what reasonable responses are.

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at <u>unfiltered@puredesire.org</u>. We can’t wait to hear from you!