Goodbye Christmas. Hello New Years.

Christmas has passed and New Years is approaching. In a matter of one week we are supposed to shift gears from lighthearted magical celebrations to creating goals for a fresh start in the coming year. In order to do this, we need to be honest with how we are feeling post-Christmas. 

We may feel the letdown after Christmas or the overwhelm that came with visiting family. Or maybe we have stress creeping in from overspending and don’t want to face our bills. Perhaps we feel disappointed in ourselves because our clothes are a bit tighter after too many Christmas treats. Maybe we are dragging our feet to get our Christmas decorations put away. Or, we feel the guilt from almost slipping up in our recovery. 

We feel a lot and we feel it all at once. 

• Sad
• Overwhelmed
• Stressed
• Disappointed
• Unmotivated
• Guilty

But we really had such a good Christmas. Really.

• We celebrated the birth of Christ.
• We connected with friends and family. 
• We did tons of fun things. 
• We scored some amazing deals. 
• We gave meaningful gifts. 
• We were continually blessed.

Of course it was great. It’s Christmas and such a wonderful time of the year. 

But, we cannot deny that the holidays are a lot of work. 

While Thanksgiving and Christmas sparkled and shined with all the festivities, there’s a lot that comes with them. I don’t want to diminish the beauty of the advent season, but I want to realistically acknowledge that the holidays can be a lot. And here in this week after Christmas, we are picking up the pieces and trying to shift to New Years thinking amidst the post-Christmas emotions. 

I’ve always loved Christmas. The last nine years, I’ve grown to love it even more as I’ve been able to play a meaningful role in creating a magical Christmas for my three young boys. As much as I love it, I’ve come to recognize that it takes a lot out of me. I do relax and enjoy family time, but I also want to make sure that I do everything I can to create memorable Christmas traditions. Naturally after all of this good intention, I’m pretty burnt out during this week after Christmas. 

Being burnt out is a dangerous place to be. When I’m burnt out I’m more likely to scream at my kids, overeat, overspend, make bad decisions, or even risk relapse. It’s hard to know just how being burnt out will impact me but it usually involves one or more of these negative behaviors. It’s always helpful to remind myself what the symptoms of burnout look like for me because they seem to look a little different for everyone. 

One thing I can count on is that there is always one week between Christmas and New Years. That is completely out of my control but also reassuringly predictable. 

This year I’m trying to change the way I think about this week.

• I am recognizing that I’m burnt out. 
• I am creating space to recharge.
• I am keeping our schedule open and flexible. 
• I am time blocking my days to incorporate relaxing and productivity. 
• I am sitting down to have intentional time with my kids. 
• I am estimating more time than usual to get tasks done.

By creating the extra space to think and regroup, I can be more intentional about how I approach the new year and goal setting. One tool that we use weekly in Unraveled is the Thoughts & Feelings Awareness Log. It took me a while to get used to identifying my feelings so this tool is something I always go back to when things are stressful. 

To use the tool, you fill in the blanks to this sentence: 

I felt ________________ because I thought _________________________________________. 

I used to always say things like, “I think I’m upset” or “I think I’m happy” but I didn’t realize I was mixing up thoughts and feelings. Feelings are always one word and thoughts are multiple words. This week I could say, “I feel overwhelmed because I keep thinking about setting goals for the new year but I’m too burnt out from Christmas.” That is a very truthful statement identifying the feeling of overwhelm and the thoughts I’ve been processing about that feeling. This tool is very simple and easy to use but such a good way to help us name the feeling and the thought behind it. 

A few years ago, I read a book that continually used the phrase, Name It To Tame It. This technique was created by Dr. Dan Siegel and I’ve read it in several of his books. The technique encourages the task of labeling the emotion as it’s happening and how that simple act can help to lower the anxiety building up in our minds. This is a similar idea to the Thoughts & Feelings Awareness tool but can be a good first step if you aren’t ready to label the thought that is causing the feeling. I’ve had Name It To Tame It written on the chalkboard in my kitchen the last several weeks as a constant reminder to keep staying aware of what I’m feeling. 

I love these tools and how they help me, especially during stressful weeks. I also use them with my kids to teach them about their emotions and how they are dealing with them. This week after Christmas is always a challenge for the whole family so I’m tapping into these tools more than usual. We are getting settled back into our routine, talking about our feelings, and looking to the coming year. 

Even though I love setting New Year's goals, I want to be sure I’m in the right headspace to think through what I want to accomplish in 2023. I feel excited to get started because I keep thinking about how much I love setting realistic goals and setting out to accomplish them. At the same time, I feel apprehensive to start setting goals because I keep thinking about how I’m too distracted by my tasks for this week to think clearly about next year. See what I did there? It’s not too hard to incorporate the Thoughts & Feelings Awareness tool once you give it a try.

As you are in the midst of this week recovering from the hecticness of Christmas, I hope you are able to take time to create margin and name your feelings. It can be such a good time to reset from the holidays but it takes intentional effort to do it in a healthy way. Embrace the empty space. Take some time for yourself to check in with how you are feeling before they grow and your symptoms of burnout come out. It’s always worth taking the time to take care of yourself!

Enjoy these last few days of 2022 and have a Happy New Year!

The views, opinions, and ideas expressed in this blog are those of the author alone and do not reflect an official position of Pure Desire Ministries, except where expressly stated.