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   I am leading my fourth group now, and knowing that I am an extrovert, being sensitive to the introverts in my groups has been one of my top priorities. I LOVED the idea of “respond to vulnerability with affirmation/compassion, not correction”. It was really eye-opening to get the perspective that some people may not open up because every time they do, they feel like they get advice or correction. It just provided a sharper lense for me to see the “no advice-giving” guideline through. Since as an extrovert, I always do want to respond in some way to those intensely vulnerable or emotional moments, it gives me a quick mental cue (compassion not correction) for what I CAN say: “Thank you for sharing… That was so courageous of you…”

   Since my second group, I have used an attendance sheet. I have found assigning who will be sharing first each week and going in order based on the attendance sheet has been helpful to avoid “who wants to share first/who has something they want to share” scenarios where the same extrovert always pipes up and the same introverts never share unless I call on them by name. This way, everyone knows they will have a turn to share first, so introverts can feel prepared for it and not put on the spot, and during the group everyone knows who will be sharing next or who they are supposed to share after. It creates an extra sense of safety and consistency that helps support greater vulnerability. This is also been essential for online group meetings to manage our time more effectively, and to avoid the lag of people starting to share at the same time and then having to figure out who is actually going to share first.

   By that same token, I have been assigning who will be calling whom each week since the very first week so that nobody feels picked last and there is a consistent rhythm and expectation for it: He will definitely get a call, and someone else will definitely be expecting a call from you (Period). I have found that knowing it is an assignment and everyone is definitely doing it helps introverts make that initial first call more easily and continue to do so even if it is not their natural desire.

   Log in to Reply September 29, 2021 at 8:51 AM